I’ve been so caught up in my thoughts these past few months. I feel as if I have lost sight of what has actually been going on. I’ve put myself in the position where I’ve been so focused on pleasing others that I almost forgot that I need to make myself happy first. If one can’t be content with what they’re accomplishments are and what they’re life comprises of, then that’s a life spent wastefully. I know things won’t change over night, maybe not even after a month or year, but every step to advance begins with an ambition and will. And that’s what I’m going to do. No more moping around and wishing that everything was perfect because perfection isn’t determined by what you want in life but rather what can make out of it. No more trying to recapture what has already happened because you don’t make a life out your past but by your present. 

Lately, I’ve been feeling so freaking mad. I don’t what to do anymore. About ANYTHING. Maybe when I can actually go to school and be around people I know, I’ll stop feeling like this. But damn, honestly, I know it isn’t going to help. No one or nothing can change the way I feel. I know that only I can choose to feel like this or not but the fact is that… I’m stuck. I’m stuck and I just can’t move. Just when things were going great, just when I thought things felt meaningful again it just slipped away from me. Don’t get me wrong, I might be mad but I’m grateful for what I have, from the people I know to my personal belongings. However, it’s not the ending that I wanted. If you can say that. This isn’t what I wanted to happen. And yeah, the present is the present and like they always say, you have to live and learn but when you’re in this position, things are a lot easier said than done. Who knows? Maybe in the future things will continue, maybe. On a very irrelevant side note, have you noticed that movies give people this big misconception that things will always work out and be all happy in the end? I have to admit that movies do contribute to making a person feel worse when they’re down because c’mon, don’t we all wish that our lives could somehow work out for the better when we wanted? But to main point, time. Time is what will tell what happens. As obvious as it might sound, that’s really all I can turn to. Writing this reminded me of a pretty common quote, and it goes something like, “If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.” And I take the term yours as in belonging to someone lightly because it’s more pertaining to fact of whether or not it was meant to be at all. Overall, I can’t complain about life because it’s a blessing to live everyday and enjoy what it has to offer. And eventually, the moment will come where these kinds of things will present themselves to me and things will become more clear. But as of right now, I’m going to keep my head up,( which reminds me of a song my friend showed me… pretty nice song) and take advantage of the moment. I can’t let my over-thinking take over me, that would just be silly. Hahah. I wish my friends knew how appreciative I am of them and what they’ve done for me. I’m going to try my hardest to hold on to these bonds because that’s what true friends do.

I don’t know exactly where to begin…. However, I never would have expected that I’d have such a strong bond with this person like I do today. This person is more than just a classmate to me or a friend or a best friend, but someone who I cherish very dearly and love a lot with all my heart. I don’t like to use the word “love” so loosely and when I say that I love her, I really do mean it. She has been such a wonderful person to me for as long as I’ve known her. She makes my heart skip a beat whenever I’m with her and I still get the same butterflies in my stomach that I got when I first met her. You know those feelings that only that certain someone can make you feel? I guess you can say that she’s like the apple to my pie or the pencil to my eraser, but for a fact, she’s means SO much to me. Her and I have had our ups and our downs, but through every argument and every disagreement, it only made our bond stronger. We’ve been through A LOT together and when I say a lot, I mean a lot. Hahah. I can’t state the countless times that she’s made me smile on a daily basis or made me feel so warm and happy inside. Yeah, there’s been tears on both sides, maybe more on my side than hers but I wouldn’t want it any other way. To be able to share my life with her is a blessing, to be able to think about her and get that feeling that you just can’t explain is amazing. What I see in her is a person with heart that’s a pure, a heart that cares, and most importantly, a heart that gives genuine love. Whenever I’m depressed or mad, she’s always there with open arms to help me through my times of despair. In her hands there’s not a wound or pain that she can’t heal. If there’s one thing that I strongly believe in, it’s keeping my promises and when I die; I want to be known as a man of my word. I promised this person that I’d always be the friend she can depend on and be there for her for as long as I live. Many guys promised her the very same thing but never lived up to it. This time around it’s going to be different. What I’m trying to say is that….. I’m thankful to have her in my life. And will never forget everything she’s done for me. 

It’s currently 1:40 A.M. and I’m so sleepy. My eyes are like twitching but I really wanted to write this before I slept. It’s time for me to hit the hay and dream away. Goodnight world :)

P.S. If by some way “you” read this, I want you to know that I love you. And as cliche as it sounds, I always will. You’re bestest friend I’ve ever had and I’ll keep all the promises that I made to you. Don’t ever forget that.

Today was a good day for me. Wait, not good but great. Despite the fact that I had to wake up early for Senior photos; I really enjoyed giving my bestfriend a gift, it was small but it’s the thought that counts right? I was on a time limit and wasn’t supposed to go anywhere but I made it happen and ran all the way over there, which reminds me…. I’m getting fat! Lol. It’s been a week since my last gym visit and it’s all bad. That would explain my out-of-shapeness. Hahah. After that little surprise, Donald wanted to chill so I headed over there and we were busy all day. I swear, there’s never just sitting down over there with that dude. Hah. Along with a quick trip to the mall and life-threatening car ride my day was pretty action packed! All this typing is making me really tired now actually, I believe a sleep session is due :) Well goodnight the world of Tumblr :) Peace.

Well then,

I haven’t really used this website since I made it, but it seems very interesting. I’m going to attempt to use it more. Wish me luck!